


En Route

by azkabuns



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Godric's Hollow, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Other, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Sad Sirius Black, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black-centric, goblet of fire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 22:19:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13867164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azkabuns/pseuds/azkabuns
Summary: Sirius has just received word that Harry is competing in the Triwizard Tournament. He's back in England, ready to make his way to Scotland despite everyone's concerns, but there's just one place he has to visit first.





	En Route

The journey back to England had been long and gruelling. Even had he not had Buckbeak with him it probably have taken just as long. He hadn’t Apparated in over twelve years, he wasn’t confident he could do it properly anymore. If he had been able to he would have taken the risk, would have done it anyway whilst knowing that the Ministry could easily track his movements that way because at least he would be with Harry sooner.

Plus, he didn’t have a wand.

Sirius Black, once golden child then black sheep of Pureblooded wizarding high society, was reduced to an almost Muggle existence on the run. His magic had been dampened by Azkaban but the little spark of it that remained and allowed him to retain his Animagus form was resilient and would not be extinguished. A little of what limited wandless magic he’d had before imprisonment was returning to him with every day, every hour of freedom. He could Summon things up to a point - mostly they lost momentum halfway to him but it was progress even if there wasn’t much call for Summoning when he was living rough with a Hippogriff for company. 

Buckbeak had been a godsend, as irritable as he could be sometimes when Sirius ran out of rodents to feed him. As much as he snapped his beak and stamped his back hooves, he seemed to understand that he and Sirius were fugitives together and there was nothing they wouldn’t do for each other. When flying was out of the question and exhaustion from hours of walking with no food threatened to topple Sirius, Beaky valiantly thought nothing of letting the wizard ride on his back. 

This was how the pair arrived in England, both hungry and thin and fatigued but Beaky resolutely upright and strong with Sirius leaning heavily against his side. Sirius had wanted to go straight to Scotland from France, their last point of crossing, but he knew that they’d never make it in one flight. Better to cross the Channel where it was narrowest and work their way up the country. 

But… he had to make one stop first.

They had stowed away on a semi on its way from Dover to Basingstoke, bypassing London entirely, and from there it was a tolling journey on foot towards the outskirts of Bath.

The countryside got greener the further away from London they travelled and Sirius was able to scavenge from farms and self sufficient country houses. It was easier to walk out in the open; anyone seeing them from a distance would assume Buckbeak was a horse - a very small muzzled, puffy bodied horse, albeit. “You know, it would help if you learned how to neigh instead of squawk.” He mentioned to Buckbeak once, nudging the animal in the side as they walked across a field filled with docile and ignoring sheep. The comment earned him a nip on the shoulder but he laughed. It felt good to laugh.

Two weeks after departing Basingstoke on foot, they reached Godric’s Hollow. Sirius left Buckbeak alone in their camp in the woods and made the journey into the village alone. It was exactly as he remembered it and he wasn’t sure if this was a relief or a travesty. He wasn’t sure he could handle much more change but on the other hand, how could these people be going on with their lives as normal, as though the hugest tragedy of Sirius’s life had never happened?

No one gave him much attention as he slipped through the quiet streets, his paws making little noise on the ground and his thin, black furred frame melting into the shadows easily enough that he wasn’t immediately noticeable. So far, he and Beaky had avoided towns or areas where there would be too many people. This pitstop was an anomaly but one that he had to risk. Padfoot was his best disguise but a stray dog was still suspicious, especially in a small village where most people knew everyone else. 

Once he was inside the village limits, Sirius stopped. He hadn’t really thought this part through. All it had ever been in his head was a decision to visit Godric’s Hollow but now that he was here, there were so many things he hadn’t considered, most prominent being how heavy his heart suddenly felt being back here over a decade after everyone believed his guilt and rejoiced in his imprisonment for the most heinous of betrayals. Even as Padfoot, when his emotions were blunter and less acute, he could feel the weight of loss and he almost didn’t notice the war memorial in the middle of the town square until he was sitting at its base, panting. It wasn’t until he returned to a man that Sirius then noticed it was no longer an obelisk.

There they were, immortalised right in front of him as they should have been in life. 

Sirius took two staggering steps backwards and raised his head to gaze upon the etched stone faces of his two best friends and their infant son. He stared and stared until his vision blurred and he had to blink away tears that he hadn’t realised were coming. Suddenly his wild, maddening need for vengeance, for Pettigrew, was gone and all he felt was sorrow. He knew now where his first stop must be and he ran for the first time in months, forced his legs to move faster, harder, until he had enough momentum at the end to vault the gate to the cemetery rather than stop to fuss with unlocking it. 

It took no time at all to find them, like he’d always known this was where they’d be. Side by side as they always had meant to be, weeds sprouting at the corners of their headstones. Of course - who was left to tend to them now? Harry didn’t even know they were here and from what he’d heard of Lily’s sister, she would never have set foot here. Furious, Sirius dropped to his knees and began to rip out the weeds by the root, flinging them aside until the stones were clean, neat. Cared for.

He sat back on his knees and let the last handful of leaves and stems fall to the ground beside him. 

“I didn’t bring any flowers, I’m sorry.” Sirius’s voice was cracked from underuse and fresh grief. “It’s kind of hard to buy anything these days when you’re a convicted felon and on the lamb.” The corner of his mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile. “I’ll make sure someone does, though.” He didn’t care how many galleons it took, he would ensure someone came every week and kept the graves of these two best people cared for. 

He was silent again for a while, shifting to sit cross legged in front of his friends and trying to find the words for what he wanted to express. His gaze lifted to rest on Lily’s name. “I know you’d be telling me right now not to be so stupid as to risk coming here. And then when we’d settled on an agreement that I am stupid and there’d be nothing you could do to stop me, you’d probably move on to fussing over how much I need a haircut. Trust me, Lils, I am aware. I’ll at least try and brush it before I give your son the fright of his life.” He gave a little huff of a laugh and shrugged. “Already did that last year, actually. Nearly got him run over by the Knight Bus. Sorry about that. Kind of rusty in the childcare department, I guess.”

God it seemed like a lifetime ago that he’d got his first glimpse of Harry from behind a bin in the middle of the night, since that cat had startled him and he’d barked and caused Harry to call out for the bus. It had been a happy accident, he supposed. Harry had been alone and seemed clueless as to what to do next with his trunk and his owl, and then suddenly there had come along a miracle in bright purple to carry him away somewhere safer. Sirius hadn’t had time after that to consider trying to let Harry know he meant him no harm. All he’d been focused on was getting that damn rat and sinking his teeth into him—

He sighed and switched his attention to the engraving of James’s name instead. “He’s just like you, you know. Far too forgiving for his own good, I personally think, but I know you’d be ridiculously proud of him.” Sirius picked up one of the discarded weeds and began shredding it between his fingers. “He’s the best parts of both of you, all that forgiveness and the yearning to see the best in people. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here to guide him sooner. I’m sorry that he had to get so far without knowing a thing about you, about how you were the two best people I ever knew and will ever know. I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it last year, either. Wormtail’s been a rat so long now I think it’s second nature to be self-serving and sneaky. Although, I suppose he always must have been somehow, to do what he did. That’s on me, though, I know it is. I thought it was a good idea, that it would throw You Know Who off your scent if they couldn’t get anything out of me but I served you right up on a plate.” 

His voice was now barely more than a whisper, the weight of his decision nearly thirteen years ago having never lifted.

“But I’ll make it right. I’ll do anything for that boy, fucking anything. He’s going to have a rough time this year - oh yeah, he was accidentally chosen as a Triwizard Champion. How did I forget to tell you that? Anyway, something shady is going on but, y’know, don’t worry about it. Dumbledore is there and I’m heading up as soon as I’m done here. He’ll be fine, he’s a clever kid.” Sirius waved a hand as though dismissing a cacophony of concerns. He turned to James again with raised eyebrows.

“Sorry to mention as well, mate, he’s speccy like you. Completely useless without his glasses like you were. You know, I’ve actually always been surprised that your Animagus wasn’t a bat considering how blind you were."

He chuckled quietly and shook his head. “Remember how gross it was carrying around those Mandrake leaves in our mouths? I thought McGonagall would go spare when we finally took ‘em out and could talk again. Said she’d never felt so peaceful until then. Pretty sure you said the same, Lils - you were not happy when Prongs started to flirt with you again. Arguably better than his silent flirting though which, as I remember, was just him blinking a lot at you. Shit, were you trying to Morse Code at her?” He asked James— then realised that his question would never be answered. Sirius craned back his head and looked up into the sky. It was darkening now. Twilight had crept up on him unannounced. He must have been sitting here for over an hour - that explained his stiff back. 

“I’m sorry,” He said again, quiet and respectful. “That you didn’t get to spend your whole lives with him as you should have. And I’m sorry that you died so uncertain as to whether he would live. But he does, and he is protected. I won’t let anything happen to him so long as I’m alive, you have my word. If I could, I’d make that an Unbreakable Vow to you. You’ll just have to believe me.” Stiffly, Sirius got to his feet, arching his back with a small groan. “I’ll try and bring him. If Dumbledore lets me, I’ll do it.” He promised, crossing his finger over his heart in a silent oath.

“I love you, I miss you. I’ll see you again.” With a last parting whisper and sad smile, Sirius turned and retraced his steps through the darkening graveyard. He ought to get back to Buckbeak before it got too pitch black, or the beast would start to worry. He would make no other stops now, he had to get to Harry, had to fulfil his promises. He certainly would not make the detour to where the Potters’ cottage had once stood. He remembered its blackened shell all too clearly, remembered the silhouette of James’s body in the doorway and the shattered windows. No, he did not need to see it again - and if it wasn’t still there, he didn’t need to be reminded that lives had moved on while his had not.

**Author's Note:**

> Please be gentle, I'm emotionally wrecked from thinking too much about Sirius post-Azkaban. My first work, leave comments and kudos as they give me life!


End file.
